C.L.R.

Jan 19, 2021

13 min read

Sex and Guns and Judi Dench — Skyfall — A Reactionary Transcript #18

In the hunt for the finest of the Bond pictures, I must take notes during my viewing. Here are my notes for the eighteenth of these case studies; Skyfall.

The results will be posted heeeeeeere.

Skyfall spoilers ahead.

— — — — — — —

ROAR

where the feck’s my barrel sequence?

trumpets and eyes, far more mysterious
gun’s out
he’s on the hunt

dead folk
one’s his colleague
the hard-drive's gone

Bond wants to save his mate
M says to leave him
Bond listens to his mum

back out in the streets, so a gun isn’t polite
grabs a lift off Dame Naomie Harris

they’re pursuing someone and cracking wise
like spies
now the police are after ‘em

Bond sabotages the wheel and flips the other geez over
bad guy shoots police and fruit and then nicks a police bike
Bond grabs a civilian’s bike
Dame follows on under directions from Tanner and M reminds them of the stakes

Bikes up steps
and along the rooftops, lovely
oh that Jimmy

busting through a window and driving through a bazaar
i assume they’re in Turkey

Dame Naomie is feckin everyone’s cars up to catch up, git on

Bad guy is surrounded so hops off a bridge, Bond does a dumb stunt to catch up
they both get on top of a train
shoot at each other

Dame Naomie follows alongside

Bond’s outta bullets
but he’s got a digger

BOND IS SHOT
through the glass
but he gaaz on
drives the digger on the train towards the baddie
baddie shoots the carriages apart

Bond digs into the passenger train to stay attached

runs along the digger arm and hops on’t train
now they’re just scrappin on top of the train
baddie’s got a chain

BOND WANTS THE FILES

TUNNEL
they both manage to duck

Dame Naomie’s run outta road
but she’s got her sights on the train with her gun
can’t get a clear shot
Bond’s in the way innee
M tells her to take the shot
TAKE THE BLOODY SHOT SHE SAYS

she takes the shot

agent down

Bond is dead
everyone’s a bit miffed
bad guy smugly rides off atop a train

Bond falls like a thousand foot into some water and floats away

OPENING CREDITS

MI6
M’s writing Bond’s obituary
she seems pensive as she rides to meet the new chairman

the drive they lost had all their agents on it

chairman’s pissed about that
wants M to retire

She ain’t havin it
she’ll be oot when the job’s done
git on
drive back to HQ

Tanner gets a call
someone’s hacking the stolen drive
they’re hacking it from London
from inside MI6
they’re tracing it
it’s coming from M’s computer

as he tries to shut it down they get a virus thing
mocking M
telling her to ‘Think on Your Sins’

they’re stopped by a security blockade
MI6 blows up

ON A BEACH NOW

that’s Jimmy making babies
and drinking a beer
two excellent activities

heads over to the beach pub to play chicken with a scorpion
then stays there all night and is bored by morning
but he keeps drinking
a man after my own heart

he hears the news about MI6
I too head to Turkey for all my English language news broadcasts

M stands over the coffins of those who died in the asplosion
then she goes home

there’s someone in her flat
it’s Jimmy B
Bond’s miffed that he got shot
wants her to trust him
his mate died
Bond is proper pissed

he’s there cos he knows nowt else

he needs to pass tests to get back out in the field

his flat has been sold
lovely stuff innit

BACK TO MI6 HE GOES

the terrorist knew M wouldn’t be there when the bomb went off
she didn’t wanna kill her
she wanted her to see it

their new HQ is underground
loadsa tunnels

Underground MI6 is pretty rad

gotta do the tests now
running

cannae find the hacker person

sit-ups

they think it’s someone from M’s past

pull-ups

he’s having trouble

shooting
his aim’s a bit off and the gun ain’t steady
shaking like a shitting dog

psych eval
word association
Day — wasted
gun — shot
agent — provocateur
woman — provocatrix
heart — target
Bird — sky
M — Bitch
Sunlight — swim
Moonlight — dance
Murder — employment
Country — England
Skyfall — (pause) Done

M and Mallory were watching
a sarcastic ‘this is going well’

Bond’s shoulder is giving him a bit of jib
So he takes a knife to it
pulls out the rest of the bullet shrapnel
wants them analysed

Next day, Bond runs into Dame Naomie again
they re-meet
she’s been suspended from field work
they have some banter about shooting each other

Bond hates M’s desktop bulldog

Bond has passed his tests
he’s back on active service
Mallory has a question, mind
Why didn’t he stay dead?
Says he’s too old
M says that he’s ready if he says he is
Mummy and Daddy need to stop fighting

the shrapnel fragments have been analysed
uranium shit so rare
and they’ve got their man
Patrice
he’s to be in Shanghai
Bond has to go get him
but he has to meet Nu-Q first

BOND DIDN’T PASS THE TESTS

Bond goes to the Art Museum
Paddington sits next to him
Bond don’t like that Q is 12 years old
They take the piss out of each other about pajamas

Q gives him a ticket to Shanghai
and a gun with a palm code so only he can fire it
and a radio transmitter so erryone knows his location

DON’T YOU TAKE THE PISS OUT OF EXPLODING PENS
YOU HAVE TO EARN THAT

SHANGHAI

big ol’ skyscraper swimming pool
then a drink
and then Bond goes to work

he heads to the airport and watches Patrice arrive
follows him, obvs
Patrice gaaz into a building and shoots the security guard

Bond goes in afterwards
follows the trail of dead security guards
Patrice gets in the lift, Bond runs to hang off the bottom of it
oh my
he had his issues with pull-ups
One hand goes
but he hangs on
and manages to climb up

Patrice is setting up his snooper roofle in a room with a lot of glass

Bond sneaks up

Patrice eyes his target
Bond sneaks
Patrice cuts a hole in the window
has his sights

Oh, Patrice gets him
Bond didn’t do owt
and now they’re fighting
all the glass is smashed
like a silhouette fight
with the git neon lights of Shanghai in the background

Patrice drops out the window
Bond can’t hold him and doesn’t get any answers

A woman in the room where Patrice shot his target stares down Bond
But then Bond disappears

Bond looks at Patrice’s weapons for clues
Somet about Macau

LONDON

M finds an old picture of her
but gets hacked again
it shows her a video of the exposed undercover agents
there’ll be five more every week

MACAU

Bond’s having a shave
or trying for one when there’s a rapping at his door
It’s Dame Naomie

Bond gives her his razor and she shaves him
Bond reckons she’s there to keep an eye on him

Bond tries to undress her, she threatens to slice his throat
then she calls him an old dog
who needs some new tricks

lovely shot of Bond floating into a casino

Tells Dame Naomie not to touch her ear on comms
he tells a lot of folk that

he goes to cash a chip
a fancy chip he got from Patrice
he sees the woman from Shanghai
same guards as well

Bond’s chip gets him a load of dollar

He goes a gambling

Lass from Shanghai wants a drink off him
I get chills when he says Bond, James Bond
The lass from Shanghai is called Severine

Bond dumps his ear-piece into Dame Naomie’s drink

Bond and Severine have a bevvy
She wants to ask a question about death
good start to any convo

she becomes visibly perturbed when Bond says that he wants to meet her employer
scared

Bond deduces that her bodyguards are actually her controllers
and that she was part of the Macau sex trade
she’s worked her out
but not her employer

she asks if Bond can kill him

when she leaves, the guards are gonna kill Bond
if he survives he’s to meet Severine on her boat

He stares down the guards and downs his martooni

Then goes to leave
stopped by guards
BRIEFCASE TO THE FACE

Bond gets speared off a bridge and down into a DRAGON PIT
Komodo Dragon
still dangerous
guard takes his gun but cannae fire it
palm recognition innit
then he gets eaten by a dragon

Bond jumps out the pit straight into a gun in his face
Dame Naomie stops the gun

then Bond spins off chattin some Lion King nonsense

Severine is waiting on her boat
Big bald man tells her it’s time to go
She had two glasses waiting for some champers

but she goes for a consolation shower instead
oh there he is
Bond slips into the shower with her
they do it

alright

LONDON

Huw Edwards tells of the MI6 security breach

Mallory’s mad
now there’s an enquiry
there’s no more shadows to hide in

this baddie comes from MI6, he was there once

I was sure this was gonna be Timothy Dalton or someone when I first saw it
like an old Bond

BACK ON THE BOAT

Bond gets up and stands with Severine at the front (bow?) as they sail towards an old island of ruins
it was abandoned cos baddie made them think there was a chemical leak

Severine gets taken away
Bond gets say down in a lab of wires and computer stuffs
lift comes down
and out comes…

Raoul Silva

gives a monologue about islands and rats
how to get rats off an island specifically
how to get them to eat each other
until there are only two rats left
who now have a taste for rat
beautiful monologue, really
cos it’s about them two

Bond deduces he was an agent from Hong Kong
working under M

Silva tells Bond that he failed his field tests
and brings up his childhood trauma

Silva unbuttons Bond
good mirroring
looks at his bullet wounds

makes gay jokes

Bond makes ’em right back

Silva unties Bond
then gives out what his computers do while dissing MI6
Like robbing banks and rigging elections

They take a walk outside with some lovely French music
Silva gets rid of redundant things
Then we see Severine tied up on a shooting range
Silva balances a shot if whiskey on her noggin

a contest
Bond and Silva to knock the glass from her head
cos his marksmanship is shot
pun

Bond first
music stops
Silva taunts him
Bond waits
just misses

Silva shoots her right in the gut
kills her, knocks the Scotch off

Then Bond takes out all the henchmen with some tricky shooting

Transmitter’s been set off
helicopters are here for Silva

LONDON

M and Tanner pay Silva a visit in a wee plexiglass cage

M and Silva catch up
Silva tells of how he was tortured for MI6
how he tried to take his cyanide capsule
how it burned him
how he didn’t die

he shows the effect the cyanide capsule had
it rotted his teeth and collapsed his jaw bones
good party trick

His real name is Tiago Rodriguez
M tells Bond why she gave him up, how she made a call

Q tries to hack into Silva’s computer

Silva meditates

M’s enquiry begins
there’s some bitch in charge of it

Q’s having trouble
But Bond’s got an idea
tube stations might be the key
and the web unravels
into a map of London
Underground London
Silva’s in
He’s been let in by Q’s work

Bond runs for it
But Silva’s out
With a trail of bodies in his wake
HE’S GAN UNDERGROUND

Silva planned this all along
but what’s next

Bond’s on the tube line now
in pursuit
and he’s gotta get through a door
but it’s locked
and there’s a train coming
uh oh

Christ, he made it
Them trains go fast
Silva grabs a disguise off two coppers that I’m guessing aren’t coppers
Bond makes his way into the tube station
and then the platform
Temple

Q shows some welcome inexperience
but he needs to find Silva

IS HE ON THE TRAIN, Q?

HE IS

GET ON THE NOW MOVING TRAIN
He hops on though, no probs
gets let in by the nice driver

Silva is in a police officer disguise

They walk through the carriages

Where are they going?
This tube gaas to Westminster
which is just ovva the bridge from Temple
coulda walked

M gets the new that Silva has escaped and Bond is in pursuit

they hop off at Embankment and slide down the middle escalator bit
Silva don’t land it
Bond does
lotsa coppers though
Which one’s Silva?

Silva cuts into a side door
Bond’s lost him
or has he?
Silva’s left the door open a crack

Mallory has a go at the minister in charge of the hearing for droning on

Bond chases Silva into the catacombs and stops him as he’s climbing a ladder
they have a chat
but Silva has a bomb
blows a hole in the wall
not enough of a distraction?
what about the tube train that comes through it

poor driver

Silva got away and hops into a police car back on the level

M talks about the agents
as Silva approaches
Tanner gets messages and has to get M to safety
But she has to defend herself
Silva’s in
M quotes some poetry

Bond makes a run for her

M quotes Tennyson

Bond runs
Siilva’s in

Gunshots

He’s got a shot at M
Mallory blocks it, takes a shot in the shoulder
Tanner takes M away

Bond’s aboot

Dame Naomie’s got a shooter

Mallory’s back up and he’s got a gun

Bond sprays some extinguishers so Silva can’t see and he runs off
M and Tanner and the rest of the ministers get outta there
Silva escapes in a cop car
M gets into the back of a car
Tanner goes to get in but it speeds off
Bond’s at the wheel

Bond decides to change the game, get one step ahead of Silva instead of one step behind
Bond tells Q that he needs to help him disappear
But also lay a trail of breadcrumbs for Silva to follow

Bond needs to get out of a company car and into something more personal
Like an ASTON MARTIN DB5
Very inconspicuous

Bond threatens to eject M

Then they jet off

Q and Tanner get to work laying a trail for Silva
Mallory finds them
Oh, he’s okay with it

SCOTLAND

Bond and M have a stand in the countryside
Where Bond grew up

then they drive
to Skyfall
an isolated lodge

Inside everything is covered
everything has been left
then they hear a creak and a shotgun comes for them
It’s the groundsman
Kincade

Bond and M fill him in and he gets ’em ready
but there’s no guns left
all sold
apart from Bond’s dad’s old one

Love Kincade trying to teach Bond about guns
He hits the targets, easy mate

Kincade keeps calling M ‘Emma’, lovely
He shows M a secret passage, a priest’s hole

They turn the lodge into a house of tricks
Makeshift bombs, traps and the like

Bond finds some dynamite
Kincade gets a sawn-off

then they wait

the dogs barking signal baddies’ arrival

they commence on foot from the gates of Skyfall

surrounding the lodge

Who’s gonna strike first?

They go to blow the door

But maybe the DB5 still has a trick or two?
The car guns some down

Mirrors come in handy as they miss Kincade in the house and he sends two feckers flying with his sawn-off

Floor bombs and nail bombs get some others

Bond cleans up outside

More goons though
Kincade misses
and can’t reload
Bond to the rescue

M needs to hide now
she misses her shot
Bond flies in again

Silva’s not there

Sounds like a helicopter
Playing some jazzy tunes

Bond gets M and Kincade outta there

Bond gets some early shots away
But they got a gun too

Bond sends M and Kincade down the tunnel/secret passage

Silva lands
he starts hossing grenades into the house
Bond can’t set himself

Silva’s only rule for his men is that they can’t touch M, Silva wants her

Silva is just running round the house dropping grenades in the windows and taunting Jimmy

M’s been hit
She’s bleeding from the leg as they escape through the tunnel

Bond walks away from a grenade and then sets up some gas cannisters

the helicopter finishes off the Aston Martin
That pissed Bond off
More than anything, weirdly

Bond lights a fuse then escapes down the tunnel
Says goodbye to the hoose and he’s off

BOOM

Chopper gets nailed and plummets into the house

BIGGER BOOM

secret passage gets lit up
but Bond just dives away

Silva survives with a few goons
And then he sees the torch light being used by M and Kincade
Sends his goons after Bond
Silva goes for M

Bond gets to his feet and carries on running
Silva does the same

Bond watches Skyfall fall for a moment
Then goes on
Just absolutely wrecks one goon with a V-Trigger

and then he encounters a frozen lake
so decides to go across it
NO TIME TO GO AROUND

does a gentle jog across
as it shifts beneath
THEN SOMEONE FIRES UPON HIM
it’s Silva
he’s tired
so Silva’s goon takes care of Bond while Silva potters off for M
Mother’s calling

Bond grabs the goons’ gun and shoots em beneath the ice
They tussle
Goon chokes Bond out
JB wriggles free
Then Code of Silence’s the goon and drops him
But Bond can’t find a way back up
Back down he goes, grabs the goons’ flare gun
Thar it is

M and Kincade holed up in a church
Silva sees the grave of Jimmy’s ma and pa
Then finds M
it had to be here
Kincade comes back in at just the wrong time but Silva misses his shot, so Kincade just stands there quietly

Silva notices M’s injury
He grabs her
stares at her
holds a gun up at her
gives it to her
makes her hold it up to her head and puts his head next to hers
he wants her to kill ’em both

NOISE

PAIN

BOND’S ABOOT

KNIFE IN SILVA’S BACK
good one
story

Silva turns and staggers towards Bond
drops to his knees
last rat standing
Silva topples and dies

Bond tries to make a pun but is brought back down to earth by M falling

Bond has her in his arms

She says she got one thing right
and then she goes

Bond holds her

BACK IN LONDON

Bond stands on a rooftop looking all melancholic
Dame Naomie comes up to see him
They chat
She’s taking an office job
Tells Bond about M’s will
M left Bond the desk bulldog he hated

They go inside

Dame Naomie is…
Eve
Eve Moneypenny
BOOM
MIND BLOWN

Tanner calls Bond in to see the new M

It’s Mallory

he hands 007 a top secret file

THERE’S THE BARREL SEQUENCE

bang, i’m deed
and after i’ve seen that film, i can die

literally one of the best things i’ve ever seen

FIN

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Keep it streets ahead,

C.L.R.