Sex and Guns and Judi Dench — The Reactionary Transcripts

In the hunt for the finest of the Bond pictures, I must take notes during my viewing. Here are my notes for the all of the case studies, from Dr. No to Spectre.

For a little over two years I have been on this hunt, and soon, it will be at an end. The overall results will be posted heeeeeeere.

There is, of course, one more film to be added, but that will not have a transcript due to spoilers, and I ain’t that guy.

I mean, sure, you could argue that I spoiled the rest of the franchise with these transcripts, but the films are six to sixty years old, you had your chance.

Now lemme link you up. Here are the transcripts for my live-viewings in the order I watched them.

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OCTOPUSSY
From all the way back in August 2019, this study got it’s first eyeful of the Bond films with a general gandering at some cleavage through binoculars.

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
Our first visit from Pierce got us all running hot, I’m sure.

GOLDFINGER
It was a classic I was confident would be in the running for top spot come the end of the hunt… But times change.

GOLDENEYE
Pierce was the first on double-duty as he swooped in with his first offering second. He really came bursting onto the scene if you know what I mean.

THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN
To conclude our golden trilogy, third nipples and orgasm-fuelled murder was on the menu.

CASINO ROYALE
At the start of this whole thing, I said there wasn’t gonna be any recency-bias. But have you seen this film?

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
Oh no no no no no no no no no no. This film living twice means I’m gonna see it after I die.

LIVE AND LET DIE
Nobody screams blaxploitation actor quite like Roger Moore.

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
Probably the film that lends itself most to the traditional spy genre. A real tight espionage thriller and arguably Connery’s finest hour (or two) in the role.

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
That song, man. I hated it when I was younger ‘cos my sister liked it and I thought that made it a girl’s song. If that is so, then a girl be I ‘cos it is magical and got me hyped for the whole picture.

SPECTRE
A satisfying end to Craig’s Bond story? I mean, obviously not.

QUANTUM OF SOLACE
Craig was at it again, and this time he had a film that has everyone guessing to this very day. And that’s just about what the title means and how that extra slipped through the cracks pretending to sweep.

THUNDERBALL
An addition to Connery’s Bond filmography would be one he’d revisit years later… With much different results, considering.

THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
The Welsh Bond finally came to town and immediately captured my heart.

MOONRAKER
They tried to do a Star War. But 80% of the film was on Earth. Still a decent Star War though.

DIE ANOTHER DAY
Madonna aside, this was exciting and colourful and off the feckin’ chain and I dunno why it gets shit on as much as it does. MADONNA ASIDE.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
Wanna see what the Bond crew can make when they’re on holiday?

SKYFALL
I know technology and whatnot has come a long way, but it can’t just be recency bias that this is one of the best films of all time.

THE SPY WHO LOVED ME
Nobody does it better? I guarantee someone does, Jimmy.

ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE
Australia gets some representation and nobody was ready seemingly. And that’s just the rest of the cast and crew.

TOMORROW NEVER DIES
This one surprised me a bit, not gonna lie. And why would I?

LICENCE TO KILL
More death, and it’s a classic from the word ‘iguana’. I can’t remember if they ever say it, but it’s good and it’s got an iguana in it is what I’m getting at.

A VIEW TO A KILL
A little trilogy of death towards the end never hurt anyone.

DR. NO
Ending at the start. Except it wasn’t the end… Kinda.

NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN
Nobody wanted them here, but as soon as I said ‘it’s either them or David Niven’ they let them play.

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Who’s your choice for the best?

Keep it streets ahead,

C.L.R.

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